T-Shirt Wisdom

2012-02-01T09:58:00.001-05:00

RIP Don Cornelius :(

2012-01-31T23:42:00.001-05:00

The weird drunk high-fiving girl is here, without the cross-eyed stalker, good times...

2012-01-31T20:24:00.001-05:00

These two guys here, probably 50+(?) visiting from AZ, are challenging people to a game of beer pong

2012-01-31T17:58:00.001-05:00

Having one of those "keep losing shit I had just a second ago and how in the hell did it get over there?!" kind of days...

2012-01-31T16:34:00.001-05:00

Yeah, its like 70 out, think I should go outside while the sun is still shining...

2012-01-31T01:34:00.001-05:00

Sadly, there are people watching JimmyFallon right now that have no clue who NadaSurf are

2012-01-30T23:52:00.001-05:00

Just occurred to me that I've been showered & all dressed up like I'm going somewhere, but I haven't stepped foot outside my apt all day.

2012-01-30T14:25:00.001-05:00

I can't deal w this dog anymore to the point of anxiety. And the dogs from upstairs are now shitting ON my patio. Yep, time to be a dick...

2012-01-29T23:01:00.001-05:00

11:00 already?! Don't feel like it at all. Hell, I'm still in the clothes I slept in & I still have yet to shower! This day just flew by!

2012-01-29T03:26:00.001-05:00

Just made a grilled cheese w/ sharp cheddar & pepperoni pizza Combos. Damn, I'm one crafty mofo!

2012-01-29T02:32:00.001-05:00

Guy:"What's that girl in the funny hat saying to the guy in the wheelchair?" Me:"Something important" Guy:"Yeah, importantly insignificant!"

2012-01-29T02:05:00.001-05:00

Ladies, Don't tell a guy you were on Mtv's Road Rules when that show's be defunct years ago. NotGonnaWork

2012-01-29T01:39:00.001-05:00

Hanging w/ this dude, looks like a blonde Steve Carell, also named Steve, & victim of the drunk high-giving chick, laughing at hot messes

2012-01-29T01:26:00.001-05:00

Guy:"You sound like a hypoglycemic breathing, shut up!" I definitely moved to the right place!

2012-01-29T01:22:00.001-05:00

Guy on phone:"I'm drunk, don't be callin me bout a pic of you posted on Facebook! Don't be nasty and uhhh fuck you! Shithead!" ILoveThisBar

2012-01-29T00:41:00.001-05:00

Guy to girl:"So sick of you telling people how good you look! Go get your dudes, get your numbers, just go!" I love watching drunk couples!

2012-01-29T00:36:00.001-05:00

Had my first Gatorade shot, yummy!

2012-01-29T00:17:00.001-05:00

Guys, Wearing a t-shirt that says "For Rent" or "Pig" won't get you the ladies in some places. LookIntoIt. JustSaying

2012-01-29T00:09:00.001-05:00

Just had to interact with a drunk who insisted on a high five as her cross-eyed stalker watched from a distance. Hoping for a safe walk home

2012-01-28T23:55:00.001-05:00

Ever look a fat bald guy's neck and want to glue a hot dog bun on it?

2012-01-28T23:50:00.001-05:00

It may be the "bible belt", but a douchebag is a douchebag. Crosses shouldn't be on douchebag attire. It's live by The Cross, not by the Axe

2012-01-28T23:26:00.001-05:00

Simplified just took the stage, the reason why I'm here tonight!

2012-01-28T23:07:00.001-05:00

Nice recovery dude! Your drunk ass almost fell head first into that garbage can, didn't it? Yeah, I saw it

2012-01-28T23:05:00.001-05:00

Of Good Nature are performing some pure dopeness right now. If you're into 311 and/or O.A.R, then you need to check these guys out!

2012-01-28T21:27:00.001-05:00

Luckily I'm leaving my apartment, because my neighbor's dickhead chihuahua is about to be sitting next to Sarah MacLachlan in a minute

2012-01-28T02:08:00.001-05:00

Guy:"Y'all wanna do a shot?" Girl:"Yeah, give me a shot!" Guy:"I'll give you a shot alright!" Girl:"You're gross" Love it!

2012-01-28T01:53:00.001-05:00

Girl: "Quit trying to rub my belly!" Guy: "Don't worry, I know you ain't pregnant!" HAHA! WIN!

2012-01-28T01:49:00.001-05:00

Hipster Jesus just showed up. Watch as he turns water into PBR

2012-01-28T01:36:00.001-05:00

You know this boogie is for real...

2012-01-28T01:35:00.001-05:00

When drunk white girls are getting down to Jamiroquai's Canned Heat, you know its because they know it from the movie CenterStage

2012-01-28T01:19:00.001-05:00

Don't think I've ever Common's The Light played in a bar before, but the crowd is loving it. Jam

2012-01-28T01:05:00.001-05:00

ThatAwkwardMomentWhen you & some guy are wearing the same sweater, but his is an XL because of his massive muscles, unlike you...

2012-01-27T21:07:00.001-05:00

That awkward moment when you & your upstairs neighbors leave the apt bldg at the same time after hearing them having shower sex 30min ago.

2012-01-27T14:08:00.001-05:00

The Doctors just did a segment on how to safely use glowsticks... The end is near.

2012-01-27T13:06:00.001-05:00

Sad I have to lose weight just to fit into the only gym clothes I own before I can actually start going. Guess I won't be going for a while

2012-01-27T01:54:00.001-05:00

A REALLY edited for cable version of Pirates II (w/ JesseJane & Belladonna) on Showtime right now. LOL!

2012-01-26T22:12:00.001-05:00

When a job application asks if you have a Facebook, Twitter, even Myspace, is it a trick question? What if you lie and say no?

2012-01-26T17:22:00.001-05:00

I managed to leave my apartment before 6pm for once! Whoa, daylight is weird...

2012-01-26T15:43:00.001-05:00

Well, its time to take a shower and then head up to Walgreens to buy pens! DontHate!

2012-01-26T12:49:00.001-05:00

I get so sick of hearing about these toy recalls over the most ridiculous thing. People just need to stop having stupid kids. Solutions

2012-01-25T18:59:00.001-05:00

Yeah, think I'm finally going to take a shower now, then step out for a few, perhaps buy some pens and other stationary. FunTimes

2012-01-25T14:19:00.001-05:00

Umm, since when did "Sounds like a parrot getting fisted" become popular to say? But speaking of neighbor's chihuahua... bout to get thrown!

2012-01-25T01:23:00.001-05:00

OMG, they're playing Jamiroquai! Why do I come here? Because of its awesomeness!

2012-01-24T22:25:00.001-05:00

I'm finally out of my apartment, only took me 10hrs. Fresh air feels weird.

2012-01-24T20:56:00.001-05:00

Its just about 9pm and still haven't been outside yet, really need to get out of this rut I'm in.

2012-01-24T19:18:00.001-05:00

A dubstep version of the I'm Lovin' It jingle in the new McDonalds commercial, smh... Biebs ain't such a bad idea now, eh?!

2012-01-24T17:19:00.001-05:00

Well, it is after 5pm, I suppose I should shower and then perhaps take my first steps outside today.

2012-01-24T15:47:00.001-05:00

Very disappointed in the coupon selection I just got in the mail :( Well, I guess buying coffee & pens will be today's highlight, meh...

2012-01-24T12:32:00.001-05:00

I really hate being woken up just to be reminded that I had jalepeno peppers last night. Better turn on my ice machine...

2012-01-24T02:47:00.001-05:00

I bet there were a lot of kids back in the 90s that didn't know what techno was up until the MortalKombat soundtrack came out.

2012-01-23T20:32:00.001-05:00

MariahCarey lost enough weight to lip sync her own looped vocal samples from a remix made back in 92. StayPositive & MakeItHappen!

2012-01-23T20:12:00.001-05:00

Shitty as my day was, I find a pizzeria that delivers beer or wine with your order. I am emotionally erect.

2012-01-23T12:42:00.001-05:00

Oh great! I think my neighbor's chihuahua is stuck between the walls again. Can't stand the little bastard

2012-01-23T03:38:00.001-05:00

This Triangle movie is kind of like Groundhog Day, but in the most absolutely fucked up way possible. Pretty much a mind rape.

2012-01-22T23:05:00.001-05:00

There's nothing worse than a girl that think she's just as hot as Mariah Carey's before pic. AmericanIdol

2012-01-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

All I want is to watch AmericanIdol, I need to be in a happy place after all that stress.

2012-01-22T22:38:00.001-05:00

NYGIANTS WIN!!! And here comes the excessive online douchebaggery that goes along with it! Commence douches...

2012-01-22T22:19:00.001-05:00

If I had known, I would've turned this Giants/49ers game into a drinking game. Every time you here "incomplete", you take a shot

2012-01-22T21:49:00.001-05:00

Is it just me, or are TroyAikman and HarryConnickJr. starting to look more and more alike these days?

2012-01-22T17:43:00.001-05:00

Watching Madonna: Truth Or Dare until the NASCAR Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony comes on, because I'm cultured like that

2012-01-22T13:23:00.001-05:00

I'm guessing the reason why people call them "9ers" is because NYGiants fans took their 40s

2012-01-22T13:11:00.001-05:00

ManchesterUnited wins! Arsenal could've or at least tied it if they hadn't slept in the first half

2012-01-22T12:26:00.001-05:00

TheirryHenry sitting out with an injury... Well, that sure didn't take long

2012-01-22T12:09:00.001-05:00

I would love to be in the Beckham household right now. Supposedly one of his sons is an Arsenal fan

2012-01-22T02:02:00.001-05:00

*Don'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me* Don't worry, she's not... nor are you, moving on

2012-01-22T01:42:00.001-05:00

Guy to some drunk girl: "You sweatin? 'Cause I can guarantee that you'll be sweatin your ass off later" Swag

2012-01-22T01:16:00.001-05:00

Oh shit! Is the entire JerseyShore cast here?! Swear I just seen Sam walking around, like whoa!

2012-01-22T00:53:00.001-05:00

This one guy's looking irritated, probably because everyone keeps pointing out that he looks identical to Vinny from JerseyShore. GoWithIt

2012-01-22T00:47:00.001-05:00

GoesWithoutSaying but I'll say it anyway... drunkwhitegirls & Rihanna don't mix

2012-01-21T14:04:00.001-05:00

Thanks rain for knowing I was bout to head to Starbucks for coffee. You've left me no choice but to have beer with my omelet, so suck it!

2012-01-20T17:28:00.001-05:00

Must it rain every friggin time I have to walk somewhere?! Never get a break!

2012-01-20T02:20:00.001-05:00

"Don't be jealous, 'cause its my hair that whips his face and not yours!" ShitDrunkGirlsSayToEachOther

2012-01-20T00:53:00.001-05:00

The guy next to me needs a sign. The girl he's with is saying so, especially if he can't be somewhere at the time he says. WheresYourSign?

2012-01-20T00:43:00.001-05:00

Discussing HueyLewis & The News... Yeah, its totally happening right now.

2012-01-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

Think I just cut through a dogging site! Well, I guess if you're going to do it, what better place than a parking lot of a chiropractor

2012-01-19T22:14:00.001-05:00

Cooter is to beaver as venison is to beef. Venison cooter... Yes, this was part of a conversation I had today. NoShame

2012-01-19T20:55:00.001-05:00

"You know that song from Shrek?" he says... Umm... LeonardCohen? RufusWainwright version on the soundtrack. AmericanIdol

2012-01-19T20:32:00.001-05:00

Evan is no Bieber, I'd say more like Greyson Chance if anyone. AmericanIdol

2012-01-19T18:42:00.001-05:00

Finally got my NC ID today, HORRIBLE! I look like a (really) light-skinned Forest Whitaker, FML! At least I can buy beer now, gonna need it

2012-01-18T21:44:00.001-05:00

This Erica chick looks like TonyaHarding. AmericanIdol

2012-01-18T21:27:00.001-05:00

You just don't ruin a RascalFlatts song! Especially "I Won't Let Go"! SMDH... AmericanIdol

2012-01-18T20:37:00.001-05:00

Hot and humid... Yeah, just like your daughter. ShitStevenSays on AmericanIdol. Wow...

2012-01-18T17:46:00.001-05:00

You know you walked into the wrong neighborhood when you almost get hit by a Bentley while trying to cross the street

2012-01-18T14:32:00.001-05:00

Best way to explain SOPA to old people; Take a black marker & cross out the clues in their crossword puzzle book, leaving the puzzles blank

2012-01-18T05:12:00.001-05:00

Night night y'all

2012-01-18T05:10:00.001-05:00

Stop SOPA from happening! Take a second to sign this! http://ping.fm/L5bnG And then adopt a pet, or save a pitbull

2012-01-18T02:32:00.001-05:00

Forgot my phone, so was forced to interact with people. Ended up hanging w/ some true redneck construction workers from SC. Friggin hoot!

2012-01-17T22:56:00.001-05:00

Stopped raining, off for some $1 beer, yay!

2012-01-17T21:33:00.001-05:00

I just came up with the best name for an uncircumcised penis, a bishop in a turtleneck! - Schmidt (#NewGirl)

2012-01-17T21:21:00.001-05:00

Its down-pouring and there's no sign of it stopping... so much for $1 beer night :(

2012-01-17T20:43:00.001-05:00

Nice job being a dick, Will! Bravo! Glee

2012-01-17T13:29:00.001-05:00

There's a 2-pound Satan chihuahua next door trying to claw it's way through the walls to eat my face. And people are worried about pitbulls?

2012-01-17T00:38:00.001-05:00

T-Pain on Jay Leno singing WITHOUT auto-tune, doesn't sound too bad actually!

2012-01-16T21:58:00.001-05:00

BettyWhite's OffTheirRockers is friggin hilarious!

2012-01-16T15:43:00.001-05:00

Is there a "Shit People Say When They Shit" or "Shit People Say To People Who Are Trying To Shit" video yet? Just wondering

2012-01-15T21:30:00.001-05:00

I've always liked JessicaLange, so I'm sure she deserved it, but I have never seen a single episode of AmericanHorrorStory

2012-01-15T21:12:00.001-05:00

DustinHoffman clearly doesn't want to be at the GoldenGlobes

2012-01-15T20:54:00.001-05:00

Madonna won a GoldenGlobe! And a very pissy EltonJohn didn't! Must be menopause...

2012-01-15T20:52:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry, but I think AdamLavine is overrated.

2012-01-15T20:44:00.001-05:00

Homeland FTW! Nice to know that the Best TV Drama is shot just miles from where I live! GoldenGlobes