Despite all that I hate about Binghamton, I'll miss those drunken shared experiences people have that bond us together. MySharona

Ciroc Red Berry & Raspberry Schweppes... ImmaABoss!

Mtv playing some good shit tonight, CalvinHarris - Close To You

What's this?!?! WolfgangGartner's Illmerica video playing on Mtv! LikeWhoa

Hello... Is it me you're looking for? ZAP!!!

"Got so many shades, they thought I had a lazy eye"? Really? The ShitRickRossSays...

Damn you Stompy, you got me again! I just can't resist temptation. You can't jack up ChakaKhan & expect me to say no. AddictedToBeats

A couple of NYSEG workers on my street, walking around looking lost. Now they know how customers feel when they walk in to pay their bill.

Evil...

People are avoiding this thing like a plague. Anyone in Binghamton have an answer?

A girl yelling IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! from the passenger window down the VestalPKWY just got hit by a truck! Last part was made up. OnlyIf

New Blink182! :)

What the Hell?!? Within the time that it takes to open a new CD, you could have just downloaded it.

I swear if I get caught in another flood & have to put off moving again, I will wreck some serious shit!

Seriously, WTF?!?

Found this on the stairs leading to the dead end street I live on. Sure as Hell I ain't touching the damn thing!

I'll give you yet another topic, Vagina: Something to hail or a file cabinet with full of issues... Discuss...

Discovered I can use my unemployment debit card on Stompy. This is so not good. Long story short, Filthy Hotjizz it was... Ch-Check It Out!

Off to the car wash to spray off the paint on my two large lamps. Yes, you read that right...

Hehe...

If you can't figure out who RogerWaters is, or PinkFloyd for the matter, at least go look in a mirror & learn what stupid looks like.

Corndog Yourself... genius

DMV to drop the eye test to renew your license? Really?!? Are they out of their friggin mind?!

Dear Binghamton Weather,
You're doing it wrong...

Lowes always play break up songs when I come here. Not sure what to make of it.

Just went boating in my 2000 Saturn on Vestal Ave. Exactly what Binghamton needs right now... WTF!

Driving around seeing how many homes were condemned due to the flood as if they're tourist attractions... people disgust me, SMH, NoClass

The new Three Musketeers movie looks ridiculous. Sure, it looks neat, but is it necessary.

What's up with Nyasha's lips? She looks like one of those fish that suck the side of a fish tank - ShitMomSays watching AListNY

DnB acapella on the TheSingOff, sweet!

Binghamton is like raw dogging a diseased crackwhore. If you don't pull out soon, you're going to die a slow miserable death

Don't Stop Believing is playing in Walmart. I stopped before I walked in.

"Dribble in your tribble!" SNL

Denise, your face is covered with beetles and a snake is biting your boob! SNL

ScheddyBalls in the palm of my hand, or as I call it, Saturday

All new SNL tonight, w/ AlecBaldwin / Radiohead, my night is planned.

Fact: I do not know what NY's state flower is, nor do I care. I'm not going to Google it either.

Why do they call it a training bra? Are they going to do tricks?
Yeah, when she turns 18! OhSnap!

Feeling awfully random today. I may say things...

HEY RO, YOU UP NEXT!!! Well I'm RoRo coming in 3rd, and its about time that I get heard

Nickelodeon's blacked-out their shows for the Worldwide Day Of Play. Bravo should do this whenever they air a Housewives marathon.

The Laughing Cow commercial shows women laughing as they eat cheese. Are they suggesting that women are cows?

Amazing when you give away clothes to someone who lost everything in the recent flood & doesn't ask what brand they are. RestoredFaith

If you feel the need to rub your skank tits on me, I will throw them, along with your face (after I punch it) across the room. DontMakeMe

Dear drunk bitches next to me,
Shut. The. Fuck. Up!

I'm sorry, but when Jay Z's Can I comes on, I'll hate on every tubetop wearing ho in the bar. CalmYoAss

The guys that jumped on the metro bandwagon when it first became popular, all look like recovering coke addicts now. JustSaying

I'm not quite drunk yet, but almost considering heading to the Rock B Tavern just to bag a bitch for her bus pass. Binghamton's Finest.

Tonight's Quote: I need your baby batter in me boca. TheLessonIs: Ladies, don't text drunk guys at bars, they'll read that shit out loud

OMG, what bar plays Aretha Franklin's Who's Zooming Who? Yup... JT's

Ever since I made DJ Assult's "Ass N Titties" my ringtone, people call me at the worst possible time. ThatAwkwardMomentWhen...

A few bad decisions are in order this weekend. Just broke out the Ciroc & I'm shaving my head at 4:30pm, because IGoHard

I think I saw Jesus walking around downtown in a mismatched track suit. Then realized, its raining, he'd be wearing a shower cap. Not Jesus

Not like I knew wtf was going on, but for a soap to be on for 40yrs, AllMyChildren could have gone out better than that. FinaleFAIL

TRAGEDY! When your bowels splat up in the restroom stalls, its TRAGEDY!

TRAGEDY! When you dollar store weave falls right off, its TRAGEDY!

Is it bad than when a lesbian walks past me, the What's Happening theme song plays in my head?

How was I not informed that XFactor started tonight? Guess I'll go back to ModernFamily...

Instead of acting like a bunch of whiney-ass bitches over the NewFacebook, why don't you try doing something oh, I don't know... OUTSIDE!

To me, watching Dr. Oz is like reading a medical dictionary. Within an hour, I'm pretty sure I have Crohn's Disease or an ovarian cyst

Saw RIP DADT, thought they had broken up, just realized I was thinking of TADT (The American Dream Team), not Don't Ask Don't Tell. SillyMe

Its not even noon yet and people are already annoying the shit out of me. I just do not have the time for stupid.

Rerun of BruceSpringsteen on JimmyFallon, such a classic episode

No, I did not watch the Charlie Sheen roast, schedule conflict

I'll be 1 of many boycotting DWTS this season. Not because of ChazBono, just only until they get actual stars on the show.

I'm bored and its rush hour. Think I'm going to spray off some patio furniture at the car wash just to piss people off. :)

Wondering if I can use my unemployment benefit debit card to shop on Beatport or Stompy, I need some tunes

Is the girl on Fox40News aware of the black spot on her nose? She probably pissed off someone in the make-up dept.

That was the worst Emmys I have ever seen. Yawn...

Mad Men wins Best Drama. Neat! Never seen it...

I love TheDailyShow, but 9 consecutive wins? Really?

WTF is Julianna Margulies wearing at the Emmys?

Today's plans: Visit gramps, give gramps a haircut, NASCAR, Emmys. Avoiding peoples bullshit. NoBitchassness

I didn't think it was possible, but after today, I think I hate Binghamton even more. SuckIt

I swear I just saw Kim G from Housewives standing outside in front of Burger Mondays. Binghamton keeps reaching for the stars...

I would really appreciate it if you didn't go into a drunken seizure in front of me just before I order my food, thanks...

Who's gonna save the world tonight?

Yup... Yup... nope

Asian guy with bleached blonde hair wearing a motorcycle jacket, should someone tell him that its not 1991?

Bitch please, you're like a before pic of Kelly Osbourne with 2 legs. KeepWorkingOnThat.

Drag queen looking like Jody Watley from 1987 with a Pussycat Doll complex. NotWorking

Community - Best. Paintball. War. Ever! If Broome was that fun, I'd probably would have finished

After the events of this past week, does it fucking look like I'm interested in buying lotion?! PS: EverbodyHatesYou!

Yay for new hot water tank! Just took my 1st hot shower in a week in my own home since the flood. GodSent. ThingsWeTakeForGranted.

Yep, pretty sure its the flu... why not? Awesome...

Woke up really ill, I hope its just because I'm over-tired from the past few days, not from from the toxins left from the flooding :/

9/11... http://ping.fm/MjQLi

So grateful to be back home & to have a home. Only the basement flooded, not in the apartment as I was told at the shelter

Anyone know the condition of the south side of Binghamton is? I WANT TO GO HOME!!!

Reports of gas stations running out of gas in the Binghamton area. Just heard that the Sunoco station on Hooper Rd. Endwell is out.

Finally out of the BUEventsCenter, no word on the condition of our homes, so heading over to our neighbor's daughter's house in Endwell

First thing I see this morning quickly reminding me that I'm not moving to NC today as was planned...

Please don't fall on me...

Really? Like we're in friggin zoo?! OMG...

By the looks of it, I have nothing to take with me to NC. I'm not being materialistic when these things mean so much to me. I'm sick.

before evacuation

I'm almost certain that I won't be leaving for NC tomorrow...

Exchange St. Bridge

Flood wall at Conklin/Tremont (#Binghamton)

Conklin Ave. near Tremont St. Binghamton

Conklin Ave. under the State St. Bridge. Binghamton

They're no unnecessary travel in BroomeCounty, but my liver is saying otherwise. What's good Binghamton?!

RIP Uncle Frank. Watching Jimmy Kimmel paying tribute on his show

Trying to get into SonsOfAnarchy, never seen it, no friggin clue what's going on. My mom's explaining it to me, not helping...

Endicott's one of those towns where you'd have to sit in your own feces just to feel better about yourself.

On an escalator (downward), there's no need to get so close behind me as if you're about to dry hump the middle of my back. Rude

If your kid's feet can double as breaks on a stroller, they are probably too big to be in one to begin with

I got a great idea for a reality show, its a bunch of bitchy bitches being bitches bitching about other bitches bitching. SOLD!

Confirmed: I'll be on the road to NC this Friday at 4pm

Is it odd that I can solve a Law & Order: SVU episode within the 1st 30min w/ all possible case scenarios?

Way before JerseyShore, fist pumping can be found in the movie Ghostbusters, who knew?

Heading to Flashbacks/Paradigm, already can feel an STD coming on

"Yeah, y'all jealous of my tits cause they so big and shit!" No, its because you're really fat, your gut sticks out just as far. NastyFail

I feel like I'm watching Tyler Perry's The Crying Game right now...

Girls like humping mirrors...

Ladies, if your toes are scraping the ground, you shouldn't be wearing open-toed pumps. I don't care if your toe nails are did. FixYourself

I swear half of the female population here went cheerleading camp like 10yrs ago only to discover loneliness & chicken soon after. Sad

Just used my Foursquare check-in to get a free shot. BallerStatus

Thanks OldNavy for ruining one of the best songs to do endless lines of coke & shoot guns to, I used to love Only In My Dreams.

Colt 45 and a fried chicken sundae... wif bacon sprinkles! McGhetto

McGhetto: Wet corn bread with a piece of lettuce.

If I weren't so hungover, I'd get up & take a picture of the old lady walking down the street with no pants on right now.

Face down, Ass up, that's the way we like to fuck! Jersey Turnpike! Holla!

Like whoa

Real good FriendsOfDJs take shitty ass request for them and pass it on like we both actually give a damn, then laugh at the silly ho

Who the hell uses Scott Peterson as a reference? Oh wait, I'm sitting next to him

Lifetime's classic NoOneWouldTell, the one with CandaceCameron getting smacked around by FredSavage, or 2for1 at JT's... Decisions

What irritates me about Extreme Makeover is the one kid who's NOT disabled that becomes such a spoiled dick by the end of the show. WTF?

Random is getting a phone call asking if you need an eye patch because there's a case of them about to be thrown out.

Great ideas for BackToSchool parties on the Today show. Really? Might as well tell your friends that MommyDrinks before they come over

Yes?

Girls wearing deer stalker hats aren't really looking for a penis. JustAnObservation, JustSaying

You have to appreciate a woman that has an exposed bra strap that matches her hot mess of an outfit. "Oh girl, I look hot!" No you don't.

Ever see someone that you haven't seen in a while but not quite sure if its them because they got really fat? JustWondering

"I just looked down and it dropped on my shoe" Why IDidntKnowIWasPregnant is one the BestShowsEver!

Why does Hebrew National come in packs of 7? Why not 6 or 8? Is this a part of JewishMysticism that I wasn't aware of?

Refuses to buy food with 9/11 as the expiration date. AmITheOnlyOne?

If your kids can't behave in a store, then leave their asses out in the car. Just roll up the windows, they'll be safe.