Showing posts with label certified. Show all posts
Showing posts with label certified. Show all posts

Sunday, March 8, 2009

T-Shirt Wisdom's "Certified" Person Of The Month

Acea Shomaker

In Lincoln, Nebraska, 20 year-old Acea Shomaker was ticketed for misdimeanor animal cruelty charges after police, responding to a domestic disturbance call, walked in on him smoking a bong with his cat stuffed inside it. He claims it was to "mellow" the cat and he's done this several times before as a form of discipline rather than hitting or spraying water at it. Now thinking back to my bong making days, I don't think I've ever thought about placing live animals in them. What ever happened to just blowing smoke in it's face? (not that I condone that nor have nor would). And how is this discipline? Wouldn't you think that maybe the cat is becoming a fiend after a while? I have friends that are absolute cranky ass bitches if they don't have their "wacky". Another thing, umm... sanitary? How clean is the cat? and I am pretty sure it had to have pissed in it at least once. Cat was probably like "what the fuck, dude?!". Cat piss is pretty rank, can't imagine what that combo would taste like. B - ARF!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

T-Shirt Wisdom's "Certified" Person Of The Month

The guy that pissed off Christian Bale during a movie shoot



Seriously dude, WTF?!?! Looking at the light? You should be looking at the new asshole he just tore you. Add epic failure to your resume, PWNED!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

T-Shirt Wisdom's Certified Person Of 2008

Brett Michaels



Do I seriously need an explanation?

Okay, here it is...
Rock Of Love (season 2)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

T-Shirt Wisdom's "Certified" Person Of The Week

Sarah Palin... (it was bound to happen sooner or later)

As if she weren't "certified enough, the crazy Alaskan Asshat is at it again. Imagine if Quentin Tarantino or Eli Roth were to join forces with John Waters and make a political comedy, this would have been a scene from that movie. After watching this I was left speechless, didn't know if I wanted a cigarette or cry. Here's the full video of her interview as shown on MSNBC.


Friday, November 14, 2008

T-Shirt Wisdom's "Certified" Person Of The Week


It was reported in the November 11th edition of the Press & Sun Bulletin (local paper here in Binghamton) that 20 year old Malik Alvin, a junior at Binghamton University and Bearcats basketball player, was charged after (as what our local newspaper words...) a "condom heist goes awry" at Wal-Mart in Vestal, NY. I love the sensationalism, slow news day I guess. Alvin is accused of taking two 36-count boxes of Trojan Magnum condoms of the shelf (as supposedly seen by security) into the restroom , emptying the contents of one box into the front of his pants and left the other there. I'm guessing because there wasn't enough room? In an attempt to leave the store while being pursued by the crack security team, he had "collided" with a 66 year old woman who was knocked down and sustained a concussion. Alvin pleaded innocent to both counts of petite larceny and third degree assault, each misdemeanors. He remains free until further court action. I find this to be what most people simply call shoplifting, but I guess in this case, size does matter. But rest assured, whatever the outcome may be, we all know in the end he'll be getting laid a lot more.