State Of Obvious, Population: Oblivious

Excuse it. Dismiss it. Leave it.

After my lovely experience at Wal-Mart earlier today, I stopped into AC Moore, a craft store also located in the Town Square Mall. I had to get some wireform mesh for my Halloween costume I'm making. I am not one for craftiness, so I don't frequent craft stores often if at all. When I do walk into that store, I'm lost, fucking clueless. I actually lost all sense of direction, didn't know what part of the store I was in. So after wandering aimlessly, I found an employee, a lovely middle-aged woman with the usual menopausal short cut with a fading box perm, who seemed normal. Now mind you, I am at a craft store. I asked her where I could find the wireform mesh. I know that it is used for sculpting and / or whatnot. I get this look like she's so glad that she could help me and knows right off hand just where this item is located. So with a friendly grin, she points her finger in some direction and tells me that "it's in the craft section"... So I was like "okay, thank you".
As I am yet again wandering aimlessly, I really start thinking about the answer I received. "It's in the craft section"... "it's in the craft section", it just kept echoing in my mind. Maybe I'm jumping the gun in thinking that this place is in fact A FUCKING CRAFT STORE. Ummm... ahhh... HELLO?!?! At this point, I am slowing suffering. It was like I had mentally stubbed my toe. You know that pain when you do, it doesn't hurt right at that second but once it hits your brain... OUCH! Followed by countless "shits" and "fucks", damning that old lady down the aisle who just doesn't and refuses to believe that the small fake autumn plants are marked down from 9.99 to 3.99, straight to hell (well, not really, but yeah).
Alas, I find what I'm looking for, but it only came in one size, I needed something just a little bit bigger. So I asked another employee, who was the "not quite hipster" kind of hipster. In the back of mind, along with all the other shit that going on, I'm thinking "nice beard, is that your first?". I don't know why, but I felt the need to explain my costume. I needed the mesh as part of the mouth on the head piece, because that is what I'll be seeing out of without my face being shown (like a mascot). Then he felt he understood, but then acted like he had a better idea. He suggested that I just cover the wire with paper mache. The last I knew, paper mache isn't quite transparent. Could be just me, I don't know? So I looked at the item in hand and said this will do and proceeded to the check out line where that crazy old lady harassing cashiers about the fake plants.

There's A Time And A Place To Discuss Dead Cats

Always Low Class...

So I had the wonderful pleasure of making a trip to the Wal-Mart in the Vestal Town Square Mall today with my friend Charise, it was our first time hanging out since working together at the Adult Bookstore here in Binghamton. It wasn't like we just happen to randomly decide going, who does that? unless you're drunk or high at 3am. An alternative to Denny's I guess? I'm going to assume that all Wal-Mart's are the same no matter part of the country you're in. It's retched. Especially if you go during the day. If happend to miss the Jerry Springer Show that day, just go there and enjoy the visuals. Not saying that all customers are ghetto and / or white trash (regardless of social status), just about 90%, the other 10% are people who ended up ther as a last resort. Is it just me, or does it seem like early morning and half of the people look like the were woken up by a wood chipper out side their bedroom window (yes, that actually happend to me once)? There is no happy medium at Wal-Mart, you're either miserable or not as. If you feel otherwise, you're just lying to yourself.
Well anyway, Charise and I had to do some shopping and she came along with me to the craft section in the back of the store. I never knew why it's located in the back, but after today, I know now. Before we get to that section, we both happen to notice a sad little girl sitting in a shopping being pushed by her mother. Not sad like crying, but sad like you can tell her mother cuts her hair. Let's just say it looked like she used a Flowbee with dull blades... yes, sad. We get to where I had to be and while weaving through the ailes, she was telling me a story on how one of her friends got a ticket for hitting a cat with her car on accident. She never actually gets to finish the story because an employee just happen to be standing there and insisted on sharing her detailed story. She was quite persistant on proving her innocence to us. Okay, do we look like we want to talk about dead cats and how it did not happen and who wasn't the cause of death? We are on some pressed time here, let go of the cart, pop your eyes back in your head, and let us be. So about 10 to 15 minutes later... (well, we didn't want to seem rude) We kind of hinted that we had to finish up here and walked away. On our way out the door, we both saw a man wearing hunting gear (because it's so in and because he can, "Make it work!") walking right toward our direction. Now that's nothing new like you would see a family wearing matching NASCAR jackets as well as mullets. What made this different was that this guy was missing an eye, hunting acciednt? who knows? I looked at Charise and told her this would only happen here and the fact that we're both together, the experience was just enhanced.

So what did we learn at Wal-Mart today?
1. Flowbees are in fact a form of child abuse.
2. Don't mention cat death in front of an employee.
3. Don't shoot your eye out or play with sharp objects (How about not getting drunk while hunting?)