Damn, its hot! Yesterday I was in freezing my nuggets off, today I'm all swampy.

I still don't know what HAM means...

Closing time at Flashbacks/ Paradigm and the floor is covered with puddles of vaginal dew. Binghamton bar problems

Apparently there is a song called "Shots" that the kids absolutely love... if you don't detect sarcasm in that, then you're a dumbass

Why does every bar on State St. smell like someone shit out wet cardboard? Binghamton problems.

If I were to kill myself, you wouldn't get any insurance money. So again, its all about you, isn't it? ShitMyMomSays. Humor is hereditary.

Don't tell me "free 5 week old pitbulls" knowing I can't have one :(

MS Publisher or anything like or better? Anyone?

Rode by Binghamton High School, please tell me they didn't get rid of the tree dedicated to Katie Titus... SMH

Who knows of a good social media site where I can publicly display low self-esteem, & fish for unnecessary attention & sympathy every 10min?

Only in Binghamton will you see a someone bring a lawn mower to the store to put a case of beer on so they don't have to carry it back home

If you feel the need to mention a "Real Housewife" or "The 607" in conversation, I'll throw a random object at your face

Sorting my mp3s, managed to find 5 separate folders full of tunes I bought off Stompy a while back still zipped up. Damn, I'm Slackin!

Its 9:40pm, suppose I should get out of these pjs & take a shower. Just not motivated to be somebody today.

What's good tonight Binghamton? Other than watching some glorified dude cockfighting

Oh me? I'm in allergy hell, declaring myself legally dead from the neck up :(

I'm totally getting gang-raped in the face with allergies today, OMG...

Bored enough to run around town, holding an empty briefcase, wearing headphones around my neck, & tell people I'm shooting a trance video.

Extremely bored & miserable... Yup, still stuck in Binghamton paying rent for an apt in NC I can't get to. So glad people find it funny.

Love it when allergies hit right before I go to bed Can't sleep, can't breath, face hurts & I wanna punch a ho

Kookie Kardashian... bitch please

Drinking tropical punch vodka with pink lemonade and singing the iCarly theme song LikeABoss!

So I have Instagram... now what?

Its not garbage, its a fiasco! - Squidward

Sweet Baby Jesus! Something actually went right for me today, must be an early birthday gift. Speaking of, I'm broke, who's buying?

Wasting another 3hrs of my life in automated hell. I hope Toto's Rosanna plays when I'm put on hold for an hour, that's so my jam FML

Listening to Wilson Phillips' Hold On while on hold for the past half hour... FML

Whoever invented automated phone systems can press 1 to suck it.

Correction: I meant WheelchairJimmy, MyBad

And which Braxton are you? Toilet or Tampax?

Fail: A girl acting drunk off a can of Monster, smh

You know you're in Binghamton when you question if there was a drive-by or BMets game just ended

Anxiety meds and a nap for lunch it is. GoodTimes!

Its Springer via voicemail! "Wrong Number Girl" just called & bitched this girl out again. Girl's messing w/ her man & her brother, DAMN!!!

Binghamton: There are people going door to door claiming to be from an energy group asking to see a copy of your NYSEG bill, seems shady.

Watching the Dallas area tornado coverage, friggin bananas! Hoping all my Texas friends are staying safe!

Whenever I see the Matthews Auto Truck Mountain commercial, I just want a landslide to happen. It also makes me hate Binghamton even more

Another voicemail from pissed-off girl who still doesn't know she's calling the wrong number, now her friends are involved, so awesome!

ThatAwkwardMoment when you go to shake your drink thinking that the cap on the bottle is on tight.

(106 & Park) Terrence: "What is Machine Gun Kelly's real name?" Girl from audience: "B - Kelly Kapowski" Wow, really?!?

NotGonnaLie, after watching the KCAs, I bought a box of CinnamonToastCrunch for a free DL of a Victorious remix. 3 to go, NoShame

Cast is finally off my arm, yay! Sporting a nice "Down the road" scar on my wrist now, let the rumors begin! lol